"Life's an adventure with the Clines." I married into this but now I'm a full-fledged contributor.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Jabberwocky nights
I hope you enjoyed the last post because this one isn't so light-hearted. Justin and I love our kids; we really do. However, 2-3 times a week they challenge us to the brink of sanity. Tonight, I got up with Parker at 11:45. It is now 3:10am and he's still awake (although quiet, finally). Madeleine woke up at midnight and finally fell back asleep around 2:30am. Out of desperation I went to the pediatrician for help after trying everything from herbal tinctures to letting them cry it out. She recommended giving them Benedryl on nights like this because even if it isn't ideal, Justin and I have to get some sleep. But this isn't a permanent solution. We already give them a very small dose of melatonin to help them fall asleep at night but just when they should be entering the deepest sleep, one of them wakes up. And if Justin or I don't do exactly as they want (M wants us to sleep in her bed with her all night), one tends to wake the other with screaming. And the cycle begins. I am an empty shell when they do this. I have no capacity to express compassion or comfort when they deprive me of the only time I'm not supposed to be needed by them. Nothing makes me detach from my kids more than when they're both crying/screaming for Momma. I cannot physically be in both places at once so one has to settle for Justin who does his best but also feels emotionless as one of his own kids won't accept the care he's offering. So these are our Jabberwocky nights: when Justin and I battle an indescribable foe, where there is no rhyme or reason as to what's happening, and the result is us feeling completely empty. If any of you have experienced this, I'd love to hear what you tried in case there's something we've missed. At this point I'm left wanting to call a sleep expert to see what advice they have. We have to start getting good rest soon. Our family and especially our marriage is depending on it.
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5 comments:
Hey Mel -- Here's the link to the resource our Boston friends relied on to get their daughter sleeping again. Maybe you can talk it over with Justin?
http://www.isisparenting.com/classes/type/sleep_consult
Thanks Carol. I'll be making moves on this later today/tomorrow!
hi sister's bestie. i'm sure you've already read this book, but if not, then here's a resource that may serve you well.... not so much for sleep purposes, but for sanity purposes. Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. will be praying for peace, quiet, rest, and sound heart/mind/spirit/marriage :)
Oh, how I feel your pain, Melinda! I saw you got at least one good night's sleep since this post, and I hope it continues. Our "spirited children" keep the job of parenting a "job", don't they? We have been having a lot of trouble lately with Caleb getting up in the middle of the night several times too. It is hard because you are so tired, and they are demanding and crying, and you don't want to wake the other child, but you also don't want to give in. We do better some nights than others handling it. But we still don't have the solution. Sometimes we let him sleep in our bed with us for "10 minutes" and then he will go back to his bed. But other times, after the "10 minutes" another crying fit ensues. I don't know what we will do when our new baby gets here! Just know you are not alone. I understand the stress it puts on your marriage when you're both not getting the sleep you need too! I'll be praying for you!
Thanks Jill! I'm sorry you have to tolerate the inconsistent rest too, esp. being preggers! That's a huge sacrifice. I think we may finally be making progress. Don't know what's changed (our serious talk with her about only coming in one time then she has to decide to either fall back asleep by herself or come sleep in our room in her sleeping bag on the floor seems to have helped) but she seems to have hit a developmental growth spurt. I'll be praying for you all and Caleb. We're all in this together!
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