Success!

She did it! Madeleine completed her first day of preschool :) Despite Ms. Nancy having to pull a screaming Madeleine off Justin, Madeleine had a great day at school and wasn't too thrilled to come home with Parker and me, especially when she found out she'd have to wait until Friday to go back. I was told she cried and whined for 2 minutes, said she was all finished, and wanted to go do some art. That was it. Unbelievable, right? Sometimes Justin and I doubt the way we've parented her because of her ability to "freak out" for extended periods of time but it seems like we're doing a relatively okay job. I'm sure Friday morning will have another short meltdown but that's to be expected. As long as she loves being there and says she wants to go back I'm happy.

Countdown to school...

Madeleine will go to her first day of preschool tomorrow. Yikes! Justin's agreed to take her--I can do shots and the like but saying goodbye on the first day of school would wreck me. We've casually talked about school over the last few days but hopefully not enough to get her too nervous. She has been telling us she's nervous because she will miss us but she understands that there will be lots of other kids there who will want to play with her and that makes her excited. She also gets that I'll pick her up before lunch so she doesn't have to spend that much time there. I think Parker's going to feel short-changed because he's stuck with ol' mom while Maddie gets to play with tons of other kids; I'm curious about the kids' reaction when they see each other tomorrow afternoon.

One thing that has permanently changed: remember this kid?

Madeleine can now attend school without the crazy halo of fuzz surrounding her head. On my last trip to see Katt, my hairdresser, she recommended a product called Deva curl to help control Madeleine's curls. She told me to fore go shampoo and simply rinse her hair with water, use the Deva conditioner, only rinse some of it out, and let it air dry. Here's the result:

Two little bobby pins to hold her bangs back and she's good to go! I'll keep working on figuring out how to style it but it is pretty hard to get a 3-year old to stay still for mom to "fix" her hair. In her mind it doesn't much matter because she'll be wearing a bike helmet most of the afternoon to ride her bike :) How time flies...

Telling me off

After a slightly rough evening, Madeleine sat me down on her bed this evening saying, "We need to have a talk Momma. Sometimes when you make me mad I don't want to listen to you. I understand that you have to take special things away when I don't listen but I'm just a little girl and sometimes I'm a big girl and I'm okay with that." Despite the slight lapse in linear thinking, she constantly impresses me with her ability to articulate her feelings and the reasons behind them. She is one cool kid who knows how to knock my socks off.

The hunt is on

Labor Day weekend doesn't just signal the end of summer; it ushers in hunting season. Justin has spent the last month practicing shooting his bow, preparing for this day. Although he intended on going out last night, he delayed until after dinner this evening because we're just too much fun to leave :) He'll hunt tonight, tomorrow and through the afternoon on Monday in the same place where he saw a grizzly last year. He's much more brave than I could ever be, however, we did buy him new bear spray this year which provides some comfort. There's always hope he'll bag something opening weekend but it's probably just the first of many outings. I'm hoping to use the unsupervised time to wreak temporary havoc on the house doing lots of laundry, cleaning, and canning while, of course playing with the kids. We'll do our best to have lots of fun...it's the last weekend before preschool! Yikes!

Family "hike"

Justin took a long lunch Monday so we could hang out on Waterworks Hill, the hiking area I frequented when we lived on the north side of town. I used to hike this area with Madeleine and Maggie a lot shortly after we found out we were pregnant with Parker and I quit working, beginning my quest to find all of the wildflowers in my Montana wildflower book. Waterworks Hill is home to the elusive bitterroot, a favorite, and this gully is covered with yellow balsamroot and purple lupine at the beginning of summer. All that to say, I really like this spot.

Despite our efforts to entice the kids to hike, we ended up dragging/carrying/distracting them with "how many grasshoppers can you chase" most of the way. At least it was sunny and Justin could be there with us.

Distracted again. This time they found sagebrush. Sometimes it'd be nice to be that short and see the world in it's grandeur.

Then again, sometimes we'd just like to get a little exercise. *sigh* There's always tomorrow...

54 pounds

It took some special math to come up with the grand total of apricots I picked and dried this year (Papa, this is the revised amount...I forgot my first batch). Another awesome Freecycler let me come and pick apricots off one of her trees. After two trips to pick them and countless hours cutting, pitting, simmering, soaking, and drying, we have three one-gallon bags of dried apricots to munch on. I borrowed my neighbors 70's Excalibur dehydrator (I'm gonna get me one of those) and used my smaller Nesco to slowly finish the drying process. The kids LOVE them and munch on them every day.

While they have a new favorite snack, the kids are not upset that I'm done with the apricots. I heard, "are you done yet" about a million times over the 10 days it took me to get it all done. I've committed to playing with them for a few days before getting to work on the tons of veggies I have to blanch and freeze. With Justin starting hunting season this weekend and me working on harvesting everything from the garden, our kids will equate this time of year with being able to get away with almost anything because Justin and I are both very distracted.

Rejection's tears (mine, not hers)

I took the kids to a popular park today to burn off some energy with the hoards of other kids there doing the same. After a few minutes of running up and down the ramps together, Madeleine broke off from Parker to see if there were any kids she could play with. I'm continually amazed at her confidence level when she goes up to kids and asks them if they want to play with her. She's scripted the whole thing perfectly: Hi, do you wanna play with me? My name's Madeleine but you can call me Maddie. What's your name? Seriously, is this the same kid who last summer buried her head in my shoulder any time someone looked at her when we were at the park?

Today she found a 5-year old girl instantly who showed her how to go down the fireman's pole. Madeleine mimicked her perfectly but after a few minutes the girl's daycare left, leaving Madeleine to wander to find a new friend. My heart slowly bent as she was rejected time and time again: No, I'm playing with her. No thanks, I don't wanna play with you. No, I already have a friend. No. No. No. No. Seven times in a row she was rejected. Finally she sat down in the sand about 3 feet away from a group of 3 girls who wouldn't play with her. She took handfuls of sand and piled them on her jeans.

She was content and only occasionally looked up at the girls to see what they were doing. Parker, on the other hand, would run up to her and tug on her to chase him every few minutes. She humored him a few times but would return to her sandy pit to pile up more sand.

After about 15 minutes of this I couldn't take it any more. Using lunch as our excuse, I gently pulled the kids away from the playground until the promise of dried apricots lured them to the car. I let Drake hop in the back, buckled the kids' seat belts, then sat in my seat while tears poured down my face. How could my sweet, beautiful, polite girl be rejected so many times in a row? What did she do to deserve that? Didn't these kids know how hard she's worked to be confident enough to go up and ask them to play in the first place?

As the tears streamed down my face I called Carol needing someone to share this burden. I know it is just the first of many rejections to come but it was a tough one for me. I'm glad I/we crossed this hurdle before the first day of preschool because inevitably she'll be denied something at some time there. However, this moment will be with me for a long time to come; maybe because I recently felt rejected or maybe it resurfaced memories of feeling rejected in the past. The pain I feel is deep and aching. Of course, it didn't appear to faze her at all; she even told me that it was okay no one wanted to play with her because she had Parker to run around with. But I can't help but wonder what she's thinking inside. I'm thrilled to watch my kids grow up but I wish it wasn't so hard sometimes.